Grace for Struggling Marriages

    I understand what it is like to struggle in marriage. Mine did for the first 6 years primarily because religion prevented me from experiencing God's love.  

    During that sixth year, God revealed to me His unconditional acceptance of me as promised in the Gospel.  Our marriage began to improve dramatically.

   Most marriages struggle because people enter marriage not being full of God's love for them.   Then they believe the person they marry is going to meet their God shaped need for love. It doesn't take long to become disappointed and disillusioned. Some never even get past the honeymoon. For others it's a months later. 

    And as my pastor, Derwin Gray says, after a while, "the wife starts wearing granny nightgowns to bed and the husband farts all of the time".  If there was any flicker of romance before, that puts it out!

   God designed us to drink deeply from His love daily. This is the only way marriage really works. Otherwise, we can suck the life out of our spouse leading to conflict and frustration.

   No wonder Ephesians 5:18 tells us to be filled with the Spirit before the marriage roles are discussed.  Being filled with the Spirit also fills us with God's love for us.

  

I encourage you to join me in praying the prayer found in Ephesians 3:14-21 often whether married or not.  It is a prayer for you to experience Christ in you in a deeper way.

  

   We counsel more struggling marriages than any other issue.  Call us for a free consultation.  

Live Free In Christ, Mark Maulding, President and Founder 
www.GraceLifeInternational.com 

 All Content Copyright © 2014 Mark Maulding (but feel free to share this with anyone!)

Grace for Failures

    Years ago, I failed at starting a church but God used it to bring me to spiritual brokenness. In 1994, I believed He wanted me to start a new ministry known as Grace Life International. I put feet to my faith and moved the family from Georgia to NC.

  Though I knew I was not a failure in Christ, there was a defining moment which would set the course for the ministry. I was talking to Father and said, “You know I failed when I tried to start a church. If you don’t lead this ministry through me, we are going to be in trouble.”

  I come back to this place over and over as God keeps growing us into a powerhouse He works through, to heal the hurting and help the spiritually hungry with His Gospel of grace! It’s not that I haven’t made mistakes through the years for sure. But I don’t believe the ministry would be where it is unless Jesus had kept me and our staff in a place of total dependence. I’m still amazed seeing the thousands He has transformed.

  Each of us was made by God to live every moment dependent on Jesus Christ to live in us and through us. Jesus says in John 15:5, “I am the vine, you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.”

  Failure is an opportunity to depend on Christ to live through us each moment. Contact us if you need help. 

Live Free In Christ, 

Mark Maulding, Founder & President 

www.GraceLifeInternational.com All Content Copyright © 2014 Mark Maulding

Grace for the Broken

Someone recently gave me a 10 year old car as an answer to prayer!   Yet soon, it became apparent the car had transmission problems.  The people who gave it were not aware the car was internally broken, since it looked fine on the outside.

Many of us are broken, too.  We may put on a happy face and look good on the outside, but internally (emotionally) we are broken.  Some of the signs of internal brokenness are consistent depression, anxiety, anger, insecurity, pride, saying all of the right things, difficult relationships and feelings of rejection. (This is not the same as spiritual brokenness.)

Our brokenness is the result of the sins of others.  Such as not telling us they love us, or saying we will never amount to anything, or sexually abusing us.  I experienced some of that growing up.  Our brokenness is also the result of our own sins which hurt us and others.  The good news is that we are not defined by our internal brokenness but by our identity in Christ!

Understanding the complete Gospel has healed me of a lot of this kind of brokenness.  Isaiah 61:1 says the Gospel includes healing broken hearts.  How?  Jesus lives in us to love us.  We are in Him giving us confidence that we are forgiven, loved, accepted, righteous and holy. 

Are you ready to stop living as a victim and start living as a victor in Christ?  Contact us if you need help.

Live Free In Christ,
Mark Maulding, President and Founder
www.GraceLifeInternational.com All Content Copyright © 2014 Mark Maulding

Grace for the Prideful

   My friend, Lee LeFebre, says that pride is the mother of all obstacles to grace.  He originally shared this with me when I asked him to counsel me a few years ago.  1 Peter 5:5 says, “God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble”.  NKJV

   Pride is there when we believe we can handle an area of our life.  Because our Father loves us, He is going to resist us, meaning He is not going to let this continue.  Sometimes He allows us to fail so we will humble ourselves and admit we need help.

   Husbands, do you need to admit that you need counseling because you cannot fix your marriage?  Wives, do you need to admit that you need counseling because you are trying to fix your husband? 

   Pastors, are you struggling but keeping it hidden?  You can wait until your life blows up or you can submit yourself to counseling now. 

   It takes humility for a Christian leader to admit he needs help.  Though I lead a large ministry and am a counselor myself, I had to humble myself and admit I needed counseling.  I’m so glad I did.  The counseling, rooted in the gospel of grace, helped me see my own pride so that I could experience God’s liberating grace.

   Are you ready to humble yourself and get help?  Contact us here at GLI for more info.  We provide local, long distance, and one week intensive counseling.  

Live Free In Christ, 

Mark Maulding, President and Founder 

www.GraceLifeInternational.com 
All Content Copyright © 2013 Mark Maulding

Open Your Two Gifts from God

Do you have any gifts from last Christmas which you never opened? Of course not and neither do I. Most of us have such anticipation of opening our gifts, we struggle to wait until Christmas.

The majority of Christians today have two gifts God gave them the day He saved them that they have never opened. They are the gifts of abundant grace and righteousness. (Romans 5:17 "...much more those who receive the abundance of grace and of the gift of righteousness will reign in life through the One, Jesus Christ.") These two gifts transformed my life and healed my marriage.

You can open these gifts today but only through faith. To open the gift of abundant grace is to depend on Jesus Christ in you to meet your needs for love and acceptance and to live His life through you. To open the gift of righteousness is to believe that your identity in Christ makes you as righteous as Him.

Why don't you open these two gifts right now? Here is a suggested prayer for you to pray today and beyond.

"Jesus, I realize that I have tried many ways to meet my own needs for love and acceptance, but it has not worked. I choose to agree with You believing that You love and accept me today unconditionally. I am also convinced that without You, I can do nothing in any area of my life. I ask You to live Your life through me today in all that I do. Finally, Jesus, I believe when You gave me the gift of Your righteousness, it became my righteousness which is my truest identity. I choose to believe regardless of my behavior, circumstances or feelings. Please remind me often of these two gifts from You. Thank you Jesus. Amen"

Live Free In Christ,

Mark Maulding, President and Founder

www.GraceLifeInternational.com
All Content Copyright © 2013 Mark Maulding

Parenting by Grace - Is Your Identity in Your Kids

   Years ago, all of the families in our church small group decided to meet for lunch at the church building. My two oldest boys were play fighting and I had to get stern with one of them because he hit his brother in the eye with his sock.

  When it came time for us to all leave, he had disappeared. We searched the building but no one could find him. Finally, we all got in our cars hoping he would come out of hiding. In a few minutes, he came sheepishly walking from behind the building. It was a relief and a little embarrassing. I remember saying to Ellen, "I sure am glad we don't get out identity from our kids."

  Our daughter has Down syndrome. She is very loving but has experienced a lot of rejection in school and church because she can't perform like others think she should. An "expert" once proclaimed she would never mature past a 3^rd grade level. She is now a junior in a university program designed for young adults similar to her. It would be very easy to get our identity from her successes or the opinions of others rather than Jesus.

  One time I saw a call from my wife on my mobile phone while teaching a large Grace Life Conference. I couldn't take the call but listened to the voice mail on the way home. One of my sons had been doing doughnuts in a field that night and rolled the car over on its top. The car was totaled and thankfully neither he nor his friend was hurt. The police were called and he was charged with trespassing.   As we later stood in the Sheriff's office, it sure would have been easy to get our identity from our son rather than Jesus.

  My children have made many mistakes. They have also had many successes, making good grades, helping a friend in need, achieving student of the week, earning college scholarships, making the Dean's List, working hard on their jobs, serving God effectively and more.   Ellen and I are proud of them for all of these achievements but we still don't derive our identity from them.

  As a parent, we need to remember that whether our kids succeed, fail, obey us, disobey us, make good decisions, make bad decisions, follow Jesus or reject Jesus, our identity is in Christ. It helps to remind ourselves often that we are forgiven, righteous, accepted, loved children of God independent of our kids. Colossians 2:10 reminds us that we are complete in Christ, not our children.

  Parents, when we do a good job parenting and when we make mistakes, even then our identity is in Christ, not our children. I sense as I am writing this that some parents whose kids are now adults, need to be reminded that your identity is also in Christ and not your adult kids.

Live Free In Christ,

Mark Maulding, President and Founder 

www.GraceLifeInternational.com 
All Content Copyright © 2013 Mark Maulding

Parenting by Grace: Fathers Need Christ in Them

   After 31 years of counseling people, I can tell you that dads have the most influence on their children, for better or for worse. That is not a surprise since the only two verses of Scripture in the New Testament are directed to fathers.

   Here is what they say. "Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." Ephesians 6:4 ESV "Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged." Colossians 3:21 ESV

   Men, we were designed by God to be the loving leaders in our homes. But when Adam sinned, that got turned upside down in us. As a result, all of us tend to struggle after the flesh to lead our families spiritually and to express love to them. The flesh easily defaults to passivity and anger in our homes.

   The good news is that Jesus came to turn things right side up. So when He tells us what to do to lead our families, He is reminding us of who we already are in Christ as fathers. It is also a reminder that we need to depend on Christ in us to lead and love then. I pray almost every day that Jesus will live His life through me to love my wife and my children.

   Don't fall into the former stinking thinking that it's up to your wife to lead your children spiritually, to express love or to discipline them. That is passivity and is from the flesh. But that's not who we are as men whose identity is in Christ. In Christ, we fathers are loving leaders! Our Heavenly Dad is telling us to "put on Christ" or simply, live like who we are.

   To lead primarily means to initiate. It's deciding to initiate to show and tell your kids you love them. It's deciding to initiate by sharing with your kids about your own relationship with God. It's deciding to initiate by asking your kids to forgive you when you blow it. It's deciding to initiate in a relationship with your wife that your kids can emulate. It's choosing to show respect to your wife and to require your kids to do the same.

   Dads, you don't have to do everything perfectly. That is why it's called parenting by grace. I made plenty of mistakes with my four kids. Even today, I believe that God's grace covers every mistake you and I make. Romans 5:20b "But where sin increased, grace increased all the more."

   Dads, the pressure's off. We can choose to depend on Christ to live through us to parent our kids! 

Live Free In Christ,

Mark Maulding, President and Founder


www.GraceLifeInternational.com
All Content Copyright © 2013 Mark Maulding