God's Cure for a Shame-based Identity

Have you ever heard that little voice in your head saying "There must be something wrong with me."  It usually speaks to us after a mistake, a sin, or a rejection from someone.  It's the lying voice of the enemy of course, but it sounds a whole lot like our own.  John 8:44c says about Satan, Whenever he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own nature, for he is a liar and the father of lies.

That thought, that voice, that accusation is the spirit of shame.  It's not the same as being ashamed of something I did.  This is different because this is about who I am.  This kind of shame is a gnawing feeling, deep down that says "I am defective."

It's very closely related to condemnation. Condemnation whispers to us that because of what we did, we are messed up in the core of who we are.  When we sin, the Holy Spirit points out to us that we didn't live like who we are in Christ.  On the other hand, condemnation is relentless in trying to convince us that our identity is fatally flawed. It leads us away from the truth of our identity in Christ to an identity defined by failure.  If we listen to it long enough, it will eventually tell us that we are probably not a Christian at all!

That is why we all love Romans 8:1: There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.  It's fascinating that this verse follows a chapter in which the Apostle Paul shared with us how much sin defeated him, even though he hated doing it every single time!  Now that's encouraging.

We are not under condemnation because God crucified our shame-based identity in Adam which genuinely was defective and messed up.  Then He buried it in the grave forever with Jesus according to Romans 6:6. Knowing this that our old self was crucified that we should no longer be slaves to sin.  Then He resurrected us as new creations, with a grace-based identity in Christ. God says we are now perfect according to Hebrews 10:14. For by one offering He has perfected for all time those who are sanctified.

No way does this mean we will live sinless lives.  It does mean that our sin, mistakes, upbringing, abuse, or anything else cannot define us.

Do you operate from a shame-based identity because of your past? 

Do you operate from a shame-based identity because of your family? 

Do you operate from a shame-based identity because of that sin you can't stop doing?

Do you operate from a shame-based identity because you are divorced?

Do you operate from a shame-based identity because (you fill in the blank)?

God has crucified your shame-based identity and exchanged it for a grace-based identity in Christ.  Galatians 2:20 speaks to this, I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now life in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.

Why don't you pray right now and tell God that you are choosing to believe that your shame-based identity died on the cross with Jesus and you are now embracing your grace-based identity. Therefore if anyone is in Christ he is a new creation; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.  (2nd Corinthians 5:17)

And as always, we are here to help in person or virtually.  Why don't you at least have a consultation with us?  Life is way too short to live under the oppression of a shame-based identity.

Believe it! It's the Gospel.

Live Free In Christ,

Mark Maulding, President and Founder

www.GraceLifeInternational.com All Content Copyright © 2015 Mark Maulding but feel free to pass it on!

Grace-Onomics: Net-Worth Does Not Equal Self-Worth

Just say the name "Rockefeller" and anyone in the USA immediately equates this name with one of the wealthiest families in the history of this country.  John D. Rockefeller co-founded the Standard Oil Company in 1870 with a few others just when the gasoline industry was in its infancy.  Little did anyone realize at the time just how much the world was going to need gasoline.      As the industry began to boom, Mr. Rockefeller became the first billionaire in the world.  He eventually left the company and lived in retirement for the last 40 years of his life.  To his credit, he became the inventor of what is known as philanthropy, strategically giving a majority of his wealth away to endeavors such as medicine, education and scientific research. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_D._Rockefeller)   Eileen Rockefeller is one of his current day heirs.  She is the great granddaughter of John D.  In an interview by Mo Rocca with CBS, Mrs. Rockefeller made a statement that is worthy of every person's consideration.  At one point during the interview, Rocca said that most people would like to have the problems Mrs. Rockefeller had.  Take note of her response.   "There is no question that the privileges have way outweighed the responsibilities, the difficulties. But where I think I feel common ground with everybody watching is that we all suffer from something growing up. And it doesn't matter if we have money or don't have money; we suffer in our own ways. And the net worth of our bank account is not nearly so important, ultimately, as the self-worth."  (http://www.cbsnews.com/news/growing-up-rockefeller/2/)   For we who are in Christ, of all of the people in the world, we should jump up and say, "Yea".  Our self-worth is based not on our net-worth but on our heavenly-worth.  Everything in this world is ultimately valued by what another is willing to give for it.   For example, imagine that you had a diamond and wanted to know its real worth. Who would you go to?  You would go to an expert jeweler.  Let's say you do that and she tells you it is worth $1 million.  That would be quite a diamond, wouldn't it?  Now, ponder this question. What about us?  Where do we sometimes go to determine our worth?  Well, the reality is that we go to our spouse, friends, marital status, finances, job, sports, personal performance, religion and more in looking for our answer.  Yet all of these places are very finicky.  The best place and only fulfilling place to go is to our Creator.   When He looks at we who have placed our faith in Christ, He has made our worth clearer than The Hope Diamond.  He says, "To me, you are worth my son Jesus Christ.  I gave Him for you." Talk about authentic self-worth!  That is fantabulous times a zillion! You are the pearl of great value spoken about in Matthew 13:45-46.  "Again, the Kingdom of Heaven is like a merchant on the lookout for choice pearls. When he discovered a pearl of great value, he sold everything he owned and bought it! "   I challenge you this week, to believe in your self-worth in Christ by agreeing with God and by confessing what He says is true about you over and over out loud.     Father, because You gave Your son Jesus Christ for me, You have proven that I have great worth in Your eyes.  So, because You say I have great worth, I agree with You that I have great worth.             For the Freedom of Others,                                                   Mark Maulding                                                      (on behalf of the GLI staff)     All Content Copyright © 2015 Mark Maulding but it can always be shared with others!

How Christ Esteem Can Replace Your Low Self-Esteem

Researchers tell us that 80-85% of people around the world suffer from low self-esteem, including those in the United States.  I think most of us believe that those who have money, fame and a winning personality are exempt from this.  However, when interviewed, some of those famous people surprise us with their candidness about their struggle with self-esteem.

For example, actress Demi Moore shocked many in a 2012 interview with Harper's Bazaar when she exclaimed,  "What scares me is that I'm going to ultimately find out at the end of my life that I'm really not lovable, that I'm not worthy of being loved. That there's something fundamentally wrong with me...and that I wasn't wanted here in the first place."

Will Smith concedes, "I still doubt myself every single day.  What people believe is my self-confidence, is actually my reaction to fear."

One source says of this worldwide malady, "Low self-esteem is a thinking disorder in which an individual views him/herself as inadequate, unlovable, and/or incompetent."

We see low self-esteem all of the time in our counseling at Grace Life International, regardless of whether it is male, female, single, married, teens or adults. 

As Christians, a large majority of us often believe most of our Christian friends have it all together and we don't.  So, we conclude that we simply aren't as good as other people, not in a moral sense, but in the realm of lovability.  That is what it all kind of comes down to, isn't it?   Do we believe in our hearts that we are lovable?

How we determine whether we are lovable is the difference between having good self-esteem or low self-esteem.   Let's ask ourselves, "Is our self-esteem based on our love-ability or is it on Jesus' love-ability?  That is, is it our abilities which make us lovable, or it is based on Jesus' ability to make us lovable?  Before someone gets bent out of shape for saying you need to love yourself, Jesus said you are to love your neighbor as yourself. (Mark 12:31)

I don't know about you but when I evaluate myself, my failures, my successes, my appearance, what others say about me, I often fall short.  It's like we are all hoping that each day we will be able to produce more pluses than negatives, so we will have good self-esteem.  And before we judge those outside the church who do this, let's be clear that this is the essence of legalism in the church.  It is hoping that my spiritual pluses will outweigh my spiritual negatives so I will be more lovable to God!

Are we truly lovable and if so, why?  For each of us who are in Christ, the answer is that we are 100% lovable, 24/7 because our Father made us lovable when He completely forgave us and made us righteous in Christ!  Therefore, being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.  (Romans 5:1)  This doesn't mean everything we do is pleasing to God but that what we do doesn't make us less lovable to Him.

Let's drill down a little deeper.  God has made you lovable but do you agree with Him?  In other words, do you ever say something like this?  Father, because you have made me lovable in Christ, I agree with you that I am lovable.   Why is this so important to agree with God?   Because, we have an enemy who seems to constantly tell us how unlovable we are.  Remember, he is a liar and we must replace his lies with God's truth!  

All of us should have great self-esteem in Christ because He has made us lovable.  But it takes diligence to keep agreeing with God based on what Jesus has not only done for us but to us.  We see many Christians in our office for counseling who after they come to an understanding of what God has done to them, they begin to enjoy a peace with God they never had previously.  Why don't you take out a piece a paper right now and write down the prayer below?  Then go somewhere private where you can pray it out loud.

Father, because you have made me lovable in Christ, I agree with You, confessing that I am lovable.  Remind me Holy Spirit to pray this often.  In Jesus' name, Amen.

Beleive it.  It's the Gospel!

Live Free In Christ,

Mark Maulding, President and Founder

www.GraceLifeInternational.com All Content Copyright © 2014 Mark Maulding