How to Uncover Satan's Lie about Your Identity When You've Been Offended

One of the most damaging results of being offended by someone is the message Satan slips into our minds about our identity through what the other person did or said. Satan is our sworn enemy, taking advantage of any opportunity he can to fulfill his mission as recorded in John 10:10, to"kill, steal and destroy."  At the end of the verse Jesus tells us the good news that He came to defeat Satan's plan with His own mission. He said, "I came that they may have life and have it abundantly"(NASB).

Satan is relentless.  He will not stop coming at you until you are dead.  Until that day, it's on!  Yet, we don't need to be afraid. Rather, we need to be equipped to stop him and to foil his plans towards us. That is why Scripture tells us this about thebattle.  Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. (1Peter 5:8 NLT).  

We are also told that we can become aware of the strategies and schemes Satan throws at us and everyone else, so that Satan will not outsmart us, for we are familiar with his evil schemes. (2 Corinthians 2:11 NLT) Though he is a deceiver, his strategies and schemes are the same ones he uses over and over.  In other words, he is predictable, and God can help us understand what to look for.

This is certainly true in the area of being offended.  When we are offended we may feel hurt, angry, bitter, resentful and more. Satan's strategy is to get us stuck in these emotions and sins. God's remedy to defeat Satan, as we've been discussing the past few weeks, is to Biblically forgive the offender for their offense,and to confess any sin of bitterness we may have towards them.

Let me say a few more things about forgiveness before I go any further about the attack on our identity.  Forgiveness is not saying that what the person did was OK.  It's saying it was not OK, but you are not going to allow that person to keep hurting you by not forgiving them.  With that in mind, you may have wondered, "What do I do if someone keeps doing the same hurtful sin towards me?  Do I just take it and keep forgiving them?"  Jesus says, "No," and gives a three step process to deal with it in Matthew 18:15-17.  You can also pray for God to break the stronghold that is causing the person to hurt you.

Now back to our main topic.  Another scheme of Satan is to put a lie in our minds about our identity when we are offended. Don't be surprised if this lie is the same lie you have heard many other times in your life.

Here is an example of this.  A little boy grew up with his dad never telling him that he loved him but rather criticizing him for everything he did. When he became an adult, he found himself extremely sensitive to any kind of correction from his boss to the point that he would become depressed for days.  When he finally forgave his dad, he asked his Heavenly Dad what the lie was. He said, "The lie is this:  You are inadequate and therefore unlovable.  I gave my Son, Jesus, for you personally, showing how valuable you are to me. You are complete in me and are deeply loved."

Agreeing with God about you defeats the lies the enemy continues to serve up to you!  We are told in James 4:7 (first)"Submit yourselves to God, (then) Resist the devil, and he will flee from you."


Believe it! It's the Gospel.

Live Free In Christ,

Mark Maulding, President and Founder

www.GraceLifeInternational.com All Content Copyright © 2016 Mark Maulding but feel free to pass it on!

How Confessing Bitterness as Sin Provides Deeper Freedom

A few years ago, a very good friend of mine came to me with a deep struggle.  He lived a godly life as he daily tapped into the life-giving grace we all possess in Christ.  His problem was that he had legitimately forgiven some people who had beaten him down with with a flurry of hurtful blows from gossip and lies. Yet, his soul was still weighed down with a heaviness he just couldn't put his finger on. My heart definitely went out to him, but I knew he needed more than compassion.  He needed God's truth if he was going to be free from this struggle.

The Holy Spirit had actually been giving me a deeper understanding about bitterness and resentment in my own life just a few weeks before.  That is often what He does, isn't it?  He shows us the way to freedom so we can help others with a similar struggle, just like 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 says. Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.

I told him I thought I knew what his problem was and that God was about to remove this weight from his soul.  First, I double checked to make certain he had told his Father two things: all of the things these people had said about him; how each sin against him had made him feel. Next, I asked him if he had released each person from the debt they owed him.  Then, I went for what I thought was his real issue. I asked him if he had confessed his sin of bitterness to the Lord.  He acted a little surprised at my inquiry but then sheepishly had to admit he had not.

Before I go any further, I think I need to communicate some important truths about confession of sin.  (Confession means to tell God any sin He shows us and then to repent of it, meaning we turn to Jesus and ask Him to live through us as our only hope of not repeating that sin.)  There are two errors we can fall into in this part of our relationship with God.  
 

1. We can confess our sins believing we get more forgiveness from God.  In proclaiming that we have been blessed with every spiritual blessing in Christ in Ephesians 1:3, God includes our complete forgiveness for all past, present and future sins in the following list of those blessings in Ephesians 1:7. In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace.

2. The other error we can fall into is believing that because of our complete forgiveness, we have no need to confess our sins to God ever. Sometimes, one of the great challenges we have in our counseling is getting people to take responsibility for particular sins which are a part of their fleshly strategies for living.

Now, back to my counseling session with my friend.  He was willing to live from his identity in Christ as a child of God, who is being corrected by His loving heavenly Father, and confess his bitterness as sin.  He wanted to pray out loud with me as a friend, and he did just that.  At the end, he thanked God that Jesus had already forgiven him on the cross for his bitterness then said, "Amen."

The moment he opened his eyes, he blurted out, "That is amazing!  It's gone!  The weight of the struggle inside me is gone.  I feel free and at peace."

Where are you today?  Maybe you read my blog last week and spent some serious time forgiving people who have wounded you.  But did you deal with your own bitterness? It could be bitterness towards some people, yourself or even God.  Did you take that to the Lord as well?  If not, let me encourage you to take just a moment and pray right now whether you are at home, at work or anywhere else. Tell your Father you have held bitterness inside and that you are ready to get rid of it. Tell Him that you now realize that your bitterness is sin.  Tell Him you are confident Jesus died for your sin of bitterness and affirm His forgiveness for it. Finally, turn to Christ in you and ask Him to live through you since He is our only hope for not trafficking in the dark world of bitterness again.  My prayer is that this lifts a weight off of your soul that you may have carried for along time.

Believe it! It's the Gospel.

Live Free In Christ,

Mark Maulding, President and Founder

www.GraceLifeInternational.com All Content Copyright © 2016 Mark Maulding but feel free to pass it on!

Why Do We Need to Forgive Those Who Hurt Us the Most?

Many of you may not know that one of my four children has Down syndrome.  Her name is Bekah, and today she is 25. Bekah went to public school in elementary and middle school and was in normal classes and had lots of friends. Later, she attended college.

Many years ago, Bekah wanted to try out for

cheer leading.  My wife and I were amazed at how she learned the routines - jumping in the air, doing splits, and yelling out the cheers. Unfortunately, she did not make the team which was very disappointing for her and us.  She had a really hard time understanding that she could no longer cheer with the other girls.

Soon afterwards, we received a letter from the coach explaining Bekah was not cut from the team because of her disability but because...she kicked, hit, yelled and cussed while in line with the other girls.  We were stunned, no shocked, because Bekah had never exhibited any of those behaviors ever in any situation.  

At a sleepover a few weeks later, which Bekah hosted in our home,  several of the girls who had made the team asked my wife why Bekah had not made the team.  My wife gently told them about the letter.  They all immediately cried out, "Ms. Ellen, that's not true at all.  Bekah didn't do any of those things. In fact, she did great in the tryouts." Ellen called for me and asked me to come hear what the girls were saying. They repeated it all again.

This person had not only lied but had impugned Bekah's character and we were angry!  What had been done to our daughter was dastardly.  The question afterwards was, "What are we going to do about this?"  We knew we could not pull these girls into a dispute with this coach.  So, we had no recourse.  This coach had hurt a person who could not speak up for herself due to her disability and there was nothing we could do about it...except forgive. 

Did this person deserve to be forgiven? Absolutely not.  But we were not going to allow a root of bitterness to grow within us that Hebrews 12:15 warns about.  We were not about to give this person power over our lives.  We were not about to give Satan power over us.  Was it easy?  No! Everything in us cried out for justice but there was none to be had.

So, we trusted Christ in us, the greatest "forgiver" of all time, to live through us so we could forgive. We wanted to live like who we are in Christ, "forgivers", in obedience from the love in our hearts for our Father.  We wanted to "forgive one another just as God had forgiven us in Christ" (Ephesians 4:32) So, we sat before the Lord and poured out to Him our anger, our hurt, and our desire for justice. Then, because God had forgiven us for all our sins we did not deserve to be forgiven for, we forgave this person; meaning, we released the person from the debt we believe they owed us.  In this case, the debt would have been an admission to us and especially to Bekah of the wrong they had done.  

A few weeks later, would you believe that we saw this person at a church we were visiting?  We were both so glad we had been honest with God about the hurts we received from the offense and then chose to forgive. We live free today from bitterness, resentment and unforgiveness.  Praise God!

How about you?  Do you have someone in you life who doesn't deserve to be forgiven?  Don't give them or Satan power over your life?  Don't live in the prison of unforgiveness.  Live like who you are in Christ and forgive. I believe you will agree that Jesus has forgiven us for a lot more sins in our lives than any of us can comprehend. Besides, unforgiveness goes against our new nature.

Don't allow Satan to use your feelings against you and wait until you feel like forgiving.  If so, you will never forgive.  Do it by faith,not feelings. Go before God and tell Him everything that person did. Tell Him everything you feel about that person and event(s). Then tell Him that just as you did not deserve to be forgiven by Him for your sins, this person doesn't deserve your forgiveness. Tell Him that you choose to release them from what they owe you.  Then ask the Lord to heal you.  It may take some time for your emotions to catch up with your choice to forgive but they eventually will. Let us know if you get stuck and need help from one of our wonderful discipleship counselors. Remember, forgiveness is a gift FOR US from Father to live more freely in Christ!                                            

Believe it! It's the Gospel.

Live Free In Christ,

Mark Maulding, President and Founder

www.GraceLifeInternational.com All Content Copyright © 2016 Mark Maulding but feel free to pass it on!

6 Primary Stages in Our Spiritual Journey

How do you know where you are in your spiritual journey? The following is what I see in Scripture, as well as what the staff of Grace Life International and I have observed in our counseling with hundreds and hundreds of people for over 20 years.  I would love to hear from you what you think of this.  Email me and let me know if you think this is helpful.  

STAGES 1-3

You know that Jesus is IMPORTANT to you.  You know Him as your Savior and Lord.

1.  Recognition of God - You are starting to believe IN God, believing there really is something bigger than you, but you are not a Christian, yet.

2.  Life of Discipleship - You have come to faith in Christ and are beginning to learn more ABOUT God and the Bible.

3.  The Productive Life - You are serving and doing things FOR God, the church and people.

THE WALL - This is a place in your spiritual journey where things stop working in your life for one reason or another. This occurs typically during stage 3 but might start happening in stages 2 or 3. Often, a person is confused, disillusioned, defeated and/or discouraged during this time. Because you have not yet realized that you have been living much of your life for God walking after the flesh, and these patterns must be broken.    

STAGES 4-6

You discover that Jesus is also ENOUGH for you. You realize that He is your Life.  

4.  The Journey Inward - You begin to understand that there is a new way to live life and to be in a relationship with God, yourself and others.  You typically experience God's love in a very substantial way.  This stage often involves a time of personal healing and freedom.  The Holy Spirit has given you a revelation of Christ in you and your identity in Christ. (See Ephesians 3:14-21)

5.  The Journey Outward - Your spiritual journey is continuing as you learn to live, serve and love by faith. You are learning to depend on Christ in you to live through you in everyday life.  (See Philippians 1:21)  

6.  Life of Love - God's love is filling you and pouring out of you in such a way that it is amazing.  

Important Truths About These Stages:

You cannot jump around initially.  There are no shortcuts or workarounds. You don't go from 1 to 4 or 2 to 5.  It's a 1-2-3-4-5-6 process; but once you have gone through them you may skip around and revisit certain stages during different times of life.

You can get stuck at any of these stages on your journey.  At the same time, there are things that you can believe/do to keep moving.  

None of these stages are good, bad, right, wrong or better than another.  They just are.  It's important to remember that we couldn't have gotten to where we are now without the prior stages.  Sometimes, we forget that without our stage of learning Scripture, involvement in our church, and working hard to use what God gave us to bless others, we wouldn't be where we are today in our relationship with Jesus.  

The majority of Christians never grow beyond stages 1-3. These first three stages produce workers in the church, people who sit in the pews and learn, givers, and volunteers who pull the ministry off.  Those in stages 4-6 are involved in ministry in the church also, unless they have burned out in stages 1-3.  If so, it may take them some time to recover and re-engage in their ministry in their church.  Those in stages 4-6 have a much more fruitful ministry than when they were in stages 1-3.  

These are also based on the book, "The Critical Journey: Stages In The Life Of Faith" by Janet Hagberg and Robert A. Guelich along with several other articles and books.    

Believe it! It's the Gospel.

Live Free In Christ,

Mark Maulding, President and Founder

www.GraceLifeInternational.com All Content Copyright © 2016 Mark Maulding but feel free to pass it on!