Years ago,
all of the families in our church small group decided to meet for lunch at the
church building. My two oldest boys were play fighting and I had to get stern
with one of them because he hit his brother in the eye with his sock.
When it came time
for us to all leave, he had disappeared. We searched the building but no one
could find him. Finally, we all got in our cars hoping he would come out of
hiding. In a few minutes, he came sheepishly walking from behind the building.
It was a relief and a little embarrassing. I remember saying to Ellen, "I
sure am glad we don't get out identity from our kids."
Our daughter has
Down syndrome. She is very loving but has experienced a lot of rejection in
school and church because she can't perform like others think she should. An
"expert" once proclaimed she would never mature past a 3rd
grade level. She is now a junior in a university program designed for young
adults similar to her. It would be very easy to get our identity from her
successes or the opinions of others rather than Jesus.
One time I saw a
call from my wife on my mobile phone while teaching a large Grace Life
Conference. I couldn't take the call but listened to the voice mail on the way
home. One of my sons had been doing doughnuts in a field that night and rolled
the car over on its top. The car was totaled and thankfully neither he nor his
friend was hurt. The police were called and he was charged with
trespassing. As we later stood in the Sheriff's office, it sure
would have been easy to get our identity from our son rather than Jesus.
My children have
made many mistakes. They have also had many successes, making good grades,
helping a friend in need, achieving student of the week, earning college
scholarships, making the Dean's List, working hard on their jobs, serving God
effectively and more. Ellen and I are proud of them for all of
these achievements but we still don't derive our identity from them.
As a parent, we
need to remember that whether our kids succeed, fail, obey us, disobey us, make
good decisions, make bad decisions, follow Jesus or reject Jesus, our identity
is in Christ. It helps to remind ourselves often that we are forgiven,
righteous, accepted, loved children of God independent of our kids. Colossians 2:10
reminds us that we are complete in Christ, not our children.
Parents, when we
do a good job parenting and when we make mistakes, even then our identity is in
Christ, not our children. I sense as I am writing this that some parents whose
kids are now adults, need to be reminded that your identity is also in Christ
and not your adult kids.
Live Free In Christ,
Mark Maulding, President and Founder
www.GraceLifeInternational.com
All Content Copyright © 2013 Mark Maulding
No comments:
Post a Comment