Mark Maulding's Blog: Marriage

Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts

Wednesday, May 4, 2016

Accelerate Your Spiritual Growth

Here is the email I asked you to watch for. This is an eptastic opportunity for you to accelerate your spiritual growth. We've watched God do this in hundreds of lives and now we want you to have this same opportunity for yourself and/or others you care about. Here's how.

Discover the power of God's grace with our Advanced Discipleship Training program (ADT). ADT is an 8-month journey designed to help you encounter the fullness of God's love and learn how to disciple other people in His amazing grace. Each participant receives the following:

Live, weekly, grace-based teaching by our qualified staff
Personal mentoring by a GLI staff member
Interaction and community within a small group
Audios and videos by nationally-known teachers
Collection of specialized books and resources
Specific training on how to disciple others

ADT runs for eight months every Monday night from 6 - 9pm starting July 11, 2016 at the Grace Life offices in Charlotte, NC. Go deeper into God's grace with three-hour classes taught by our gifted staff. Topics include:

Untwisting Your Concept of God
Embracing Your Identity in Christ
How to Forgive from Your Heart
Resting in Grace versus Exhaustion from the Law
Hearing God's Voice and much more...

In case you miss a class, you will receive a free audio recording. Here's what recent alumni say about attending ADT:

"Next to my salvation, ADT is the greatest experience of my Christian life!" - James C.

"I couldn't have imagined how much more I was going to enjoy God until He replaced my law-based thinking with grace-based thinking at ADT.'" - Joye D

"I'd trade my seminary education for what I experienced at ADT. It literally changed the course of my life and ministry." - Paul C.

The cost to attend ADT is only $1,700 for eight months of life-changing instruction. Pay up-front for only $1,500 and save $200!

You can attend at our office or live online through a powerful tool called Zoom. However, seating is limited for both! So decide now if you want to come.

To get ADT details or to register email Sandy@GraceLifeInternational.com

What if I'm not ready to commit to ADT and the 8-month schedule?

We offer a "taste" of ADT during the first four Monday nights in June from 6-9. For more info on this, email our Director of Training, Sandy Witherspoon at Sandy@GraceLifeInternational.com

In His Grace,

Mark Maulding, President and Founder

www.GraceLifeInternational.com All Content Copyright © 2016 Mark Maulding but feel free to pass it on!

Monday, October 20, 2014

30 Things We've Leaned in 30 Years of Marriage

Wedding Day

30th Anniversary

"I'm sorry but I don't love you." These were the damaging words that tumbled out of my mouth to Ellen the first year we were married. I cringe when I think about it now. It's not that we had a horrible marriage but there was a deficit from my side that I desperately wanted to address, but was powerless to do so.

30 years later, I love her more than ever and I feel more loved by her than I ever have. Would you like to know our secret? It's the healing, freeing, powerful grace of God in Christ! Let me explain.

30 Things in 30 Years

1. A revelation from the Holy Spirit of Jesus and His Complete Gospel/New Covenant is the foundation for a successful marriage.

2. Intimacy in marriage is rooted in experiencing God's unconditional acceptance of you in Christ.

3. Jesus is your Life and your identity, not your spouse, kids or job. Not knowing this always leads to relational idolatry.

4. Asking Jesus to live through you to love your spouse every day is the only way marriage will ever work.

5. Communication is one of the biggest challenges. That takes time, intentionality and God's grace.

6. Men and women are designed by God as loving leaders and respectful responders respectively.

7. Almost every problem in a marriage is a result of one or both spouse's fleshly strategies taking over.

8. There is only one answer to the flesh--brokenness, so we can know Christ in us as our Life, in an ever increasing way.

9. Marriage is one of God's greatest vehicles to break you, i.e. to reveal the bankruptcy of your flesh and to free you from it.

10. Conflict is inevitable, but reconciliation is always possible because Christ is in us.

11. Forgiving your spouse every time is essential.

12. Not asking for forgiveness when you have hurt your spouse is not only prideful but puts undue pressure on the relationship.

13. Speaking the truth in love to your spouse about their fleshly behavior is not easy but is often necessary as the Holy Spirit leads you. As a result, both of you can grow.

14. Yielding your rights to God prevents you from living in constant disappointment and hurt. E.g. The right for your spouse to meet your deepest need for love. Only Jesus can do that.

15. You are not responsible to make your spouse happy but you are responsible to love and respect him/her.

16. When a spouse shares a problem, unless they ask for it, they are not looking for a fix but a listening and understanding heart.

17. Christ living through both parents, not just one, is the best way to raise your kids.

18. Time away from the kids is an act of love that will help you feel closer to each other. This includes taking your wife on a date at least once a month which is up to the husband. (And will keep your wife sane!)

19. Though not the most important, marital sex is important for a healthy marriage.

20. It takes time and God's grace to accept, but He knew exactly what He was doing when He put you with a spouse's personality type, totally the opposite of yours.

21. Don't talk about weighty matters past 8pm.

22. If you have been offended by your spouse, talk about it right then and do not let much time go by.

23. It's OK to feel frustrated, angry and express emotion with your spouse but it is not OK to spew hurtful words or actions out of your anger, frustration or strong emotion.

24. Be on the same page about how to handle your finances using a budget. (Suggestion: Financial Peace by Dave Ramsey)

25. "Different" is not necessarily "wrong". (Such as having your shirts hung on hangers pointing left is "different" but not "wrong" if they are hung pointing right)

26. Do stuff together (activities) as this gives opportunity for social, emotional growth and enrichment with each other.

27. Do stuff apart (activities) as this gives opportunity to let your relationship breathe and minister to others.

28. Learn your love language and your spouse's love language. (See The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman)

29. Know and understand your spouse's temperament and yours, along with how they complement one another and how they may conflict. (Read Tim LaHaye's The Four Temperaments)

30. When you want to communicate with your spouse, make sure you have their undivided attention. In this day and age, miscommunication is an epidemic due to T.V., mobile phones, IPads and other technological devices. Make sure all of these are down when communicating with your spouse.

Need help in your marriage? Want to help your healthy marriage grow even stronger? Come to our Marriage by Grace Retreat led by our Vice-President and his wife, our Financial Assistant, Bill and Tonda Layle. The story of how God's grace healed their failing marriage will inspire you. And their teaching on marriage will give you grace based tools which are powerful but founded on grace, not trying harder to be a better spouse. Please see the info in the sidebar.

Believe it. It's the Gospel.

Thursday, June 12, 2014

Forgiveness and Reconciliation Aren't The Same

I remember the first time I bowed my head and prayed for God to show me the people He wanted me to forgive. The Holy Spirit led me very specifically to write down with pen and pad several names. I forgave each person but soon began to ask myself. "Does this mean I have to reconcile with some of these people?" I've found through the years, that my question is a very serious one asked by many. Without a Biblical answer, it can stop some in their tracks preventing them from forgiving.

It's helpful to remember that forgiveness and reconciliation are not the same. Forgiveness is something God always wants us to do according to Ephesians 4:32. "Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you." NASB Reconciliation, is another matter.

Reconciliation is always God's heart for two people but is not always possible because it takes both to make it work. This is true even of God and people. He has done everything necessary for us to be reconciled to Him. 2 Corinthians 5:20 "Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were making an appeal through us; we beg you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God." NASB However, someone's reconciliation with God will never happen unless a person is willing to admit their need for Jesus and place their faith in Him.

There are essential elements, if reconciliation is to take place between two people.

Both parties must see a need to reconcile.
Both parties must be willing to reconcile.
Both parties must take responsibility for their part of the problem.
Both parties must admit to what they didto the other person.
Both parties must be willing to work on their part of the relationship.
One or both parties must give time for trust to be rebuilt.

Because our identity is in Christ, our new heart's deepest desire is to reconcile with another person. Being willing to do so is living from that new heart. It might help to review the essential elements to see if we are ready on our side to pursue reconciliation, if it is possible.

"If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men." Romans 12:18 NASB

Believe it. It's the Gospel!

Thursday, January 30, 2014

Grace for Struggling Marriages

I understand what it is like to struggle in marriage. Mine did for the first 6 years primarily because religion prevented me from experiencing God's love.

During that sixth year, God revealed to me His unconditional acceptance of me as promised in the Gospel. Our marriage began to improve dramatically.

Most marriages struggle because people enter marriage not being full of God's love for them. Then they believe the person they marry is going to meet their God shaped need for love. It doesn't take long to become disappointed and disillusioned. Some never even get past the honeymoon. For others it's a months later.

And as my pastor, Derwin Gray says, after a while, "the wife starts wearing granny nightgowns to bed and the husband farts all of the time". If there was any flicker of romance before, that puts it out!

God designed us to drink deeply from His love daily. This is the only way marriage really works. Otherwise, we can suck the life out of our spouse leading to conflict and frustration.

No wonder Ephesians 5:18 tells us to be filled with the Spirit before the marriage roles are discussed. Being filled with the Spirit also fills us with God's love for us.

I encourage you to join me in praying the prayer found in Ephesians 3:14-21 often whether married or not. It is a prayer for you to experience Christ in you in a deeper way.

We counsel more struggling marriages than any other issue. Call us for a free consultation.

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