Grace for the Legalist

    When I was a legalistic Christian, I understood grace to be the power God gave me to obey the 10 Commandments. Rather than grace being relational, it was the power to keep the rules. This stinking thinking meant that the more rules I kept, the more pleasing I would be to God. The more pleasing I was to God, the more I believed He would bless me for my obedient performance.     

  

   I was so much of a legalist, I believed I needed to obey the dietary laws of the Old Testament in order to please God. I recall one time when Ellen and I were first married, we were on vacation at her grandfather's beach house. We went out to eat at the local seafood restaurant only to realize that every item on the menu was forbidden by the Old Testament dietary laws. We left frustrated, angry and hungry!

   When I had a revelation of Christ in me and my identity in Christ according to Galatians 2:20, I experienced incredible healing and freedom. However, I also believed that I now had the power to keep the 10 Commandments and couldn't understand why I kept failing at it. This is the exact same thing  the Apostle Paul wrote about in Romans 7:14-25. Here he shares his own testimony of his habitual faliure to keep the law in his attempts to stop sinning.

   God continued to reveal more of what the entire Gospel really was and I soon began to see in the Scriptures that Christians have zero obligation to keep the 10 Commandments. Not only can it not save a person, it cannot prevent a Christian from sinning, nor can it help them grow spiritually.

   Romans 7:4 says that when Jesus died on the cross, we were united to Him so that we died to the Law with Him. If you die to something, it means that you no longer have any relationship to it. For example, if I died today, I would no longer be obligated to keep the laws of the United States.

   2 Timothy 1:9 says, "Realizing the fact that law is not made for a righteous person." The only righteous people are those in Christ. That means that the 10 Commandments are not made for us. Instead of the Law, we are now under grace.

   As I understood this, my freedom grew. My intimacy with God grew. My love for people grew. My freedom over sin's power grew. And I even lived a life more pleasing to God than when I had lived under the Law. Grace transformed this legalist into a gracist!

   To all the legalists out there, God's love and grace is what you need and really want deep down. You just may not know it yet. Your Father loves you and His grace has placed Christ in you and you in Christ. Let go of legalism and embrace grace. It may feel strange at first but it's the only way to live a victorious Christian life!

Live Free In Christ, Mark Maulding, President and Founder www.GraceLifeInternational.com All Content Copyright © 2013 Mark Maulding

It's Halloween: Fear God not the Devil!

   Christians have differing opinions on whether or not to participate in Halloween. Some say that it is a form of worshipping the devil. Others say that if you participate, you open yourself up to the demonic world. And then there are those who say that it's nothing but a fun time to dress up and eat so much candy that it makes you sick.

 

    I definitely take very seriously the reality that the devil and his demons can and do influence Christians. Christians can't be possessed because we are possessed by Jesus Christ. But we can be oppressed. I've seen it in our counseling and I've seen it in my own life.

    A few years ago, I became very nauseous as I was preparing to drive to a teen conference on our identity in Christ. I was the main speaker, so it was important for me to be there. I emailed some people and asked them to pray because I felt sick. Shortly afterwards, the Holy Spirit told me that I felt sick because it was demonic. You see, I was about to teach in one of the most religious cities in America and religion is from our Enemy. So I prayed with the authority we have in Christ and the nausea stopped immediately.

    But I'm not afraid of the devil and you shouldn't be either if you are in Christ. I have a healthy respect but I'm not afraid. Jesus has defeated our enemy through His death, burial, resurrection, ascension and seating. Colossians 2:15 "And having disarmed the powers and authorities, He made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross." Since we are united with Christ, we have defeated him too. Ephesians 2:6 "And raised us up with Him, and seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus." We do need to believe it and apply our victory.

    I do fear God but not such that I am afraid of Him. His perfect love for me has removed that kind of fear according to 1 John 4:18, "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love." But I do have an incredible reverence for my Father who loves me that is so overpowering that I worship Him and desire to obey Him.

    You may be wondering if I am promoting the idea that Christians should let their children dress up and get candy going door to door on Halloween. I am not because this is an issue of conscience like we read about in Romans 14-15. Just as in those Scriptures, some Christians think it is fine and others are totally against it. You will need to decide between you and God what you have the freedom to do or not do.

    I will say this, just for the record. I've never dealt with anyone in my 31 years of counseling and teaching who was oppressed by the devil after dressing up to get candy on Halloween. But I've seen a lot more people who have been oppressed by the devil because of religion and other reasons. I am definitely more afraid of the damage religion does to Christians than Halloween!

Live Free In Christ,


Mark Maulding, President and Founder

www.GraceLifeInternational.com

All Content Copyright © 2013 Mark Maulding

Passionate Dating: Are You Ready?

   Are you ready to date? Is your teen or single ready to date? Here are some practical thoughts on dating from the perspective of grace for you to consider before you answer.

   Dating is really not discussed in the Bible. It is a modern invention of the western world.   In the time of the Bible, parents chose who you were going to marry. That may sound totally crazy to us today. However, we parents know our kids better than anyone else and have a good idea of the type of person who would be a good fit for them.

   I'm not suggesting that we go back to parents arranging who their kids marry. But I am saying that people who are dating would be very wise to ask their parents what they think about the person they are dating. Most parents are good at discerning the character of a person fairly quickly. Are you willing to do that?

   How is your love relationship with Jesus?   In other words, is your heart already filled with God's personal love for you? If so, you are prepared to date if God leads you to do so. Jesus' love for you will be a deterrent against you trying to suck the life out of the other person to meet your God-given need for love. This can be a major stumbling block in dating and in marriage.

    Depending on Jesus to live his life through you is the only way to mature as a person and a Christian. Nothing can better prepare you for dating than this. Jesus says in John 15:5, "Apart from me you can do nothing" which includes dating.

   Learning that your identity is in Christ is important too. Otherwise you will attempt to derive your identity from the person you are dating. That's one of those things that can sabotage your relationship quicker than playing a game of Call to Duty.

   Have you decided on your non-negotiables in dating? I covered this very extensively in my blog/devotion two weeks ago. I hope you have at least decided that you are only going to date someone who loves Jesus as much as you do.

   When you do decide to get engaged, believing God has brought that special person into your life, do yourself a favor and get some quality Christ-centered counseling. We offer great pre-marital counseling in our office and through Skype but we also know of other ministries around the country who can help as well.

Live Free In Christ, 

Mark Maulding, President and Founder 
www.GraceLifeInternational.com 
All Content Copyright © 2013 Mark Maulding

Passionate Dating: Safe Sex

   When our children were growing up, Ellen and I both believed that it was our responsibility to talk to each one about sex.   Sadly, in today's world, most children are familiar with sex long before they become teens.  They have heard all about it from their friends and many have seen a perversion of it because of internet and TV pornography.

   Let me share an example of what I mean.  I took each of my three sons on a father/son weekend to talk about sex when they were in the 6^th grade - the first year of Middle School. (I also took them in 9^thand 12^th grade.)  Ellen talked to our daughter.

   On one of those 6^th grade trips, my son said, "Dad, I already know all about sex.  You don't need to tell me anything."  My response?  "You probably do but you need to hear my perspective on it and especially God's perspective on it."

   You see, sex was designed by God to be great ... in marriage.  He designed it for procreation and for pleasure.  Sex was God's idea, not the Devil's!  It's not dirty in marriage.  It's a gift from God.

   The statistics are very compelling that parents still have the greatest influence in the decisions that teens and young adults make about sex before marriage.  That is not a guarantee that they will live like who they are in Christ in this area but it is still our God-given responsibility to talk with them and guide them in this area.

   The best thing we can do for our kids in teaching them about sex is to challenge them to make some decisions before they ever start dating.  If not, they will most likely make the wrong decision later when they are on a date.  Here are some of those decisions.

  Safe sex for the Christian is no sex prior to marriage. See 1 Corinthians 7:1-5  Today, you have to be very specific about what you mean by sex.  A decision that will help a single person is to agree that any area of the body below the neck is off limits while dating.  An exception, of course, might be holding hands.  And in reality, most people regardless of their age, cannot sit around and kiss very long without being tempted to do more.  Why?  Because God designed passionate kissing to be one of the first steps towards the beautiful act of sexual intimacy in marriage.  If a single is going to kiss at all while dating , they need to decide how much kissing they are going to involve themselves in.  If you have kids, I encourage you to share this with them whether they are 13 or 30. 

  Don't advertise.  Make sure your girls know that they can dress in style with being immodest. For example, a girl who shows cleavage is advertising.  A girl who wears shorts, skirts or dresses so that her butt cheek is showing or almost showing is advertising.  And some guy will be tempted to take the merchandise.  She needs to save all of that for her husband in private after she is married. 

   Another thing kids need to know is that the Bible tells them to treat the opposite sex as if they were their brother or sister.  Read these words to the single pastor, Timothy in 1 Timothy 5:2. "Reverently honor an older woman as you would your mother, and the younger women as sisters."  That is another great decision for those who are dating to make.  In fact, if they treat the opposite sex as a brother or sister, then a friendship may occur which one day might lead them to the one God has for them to marry.  Passionate Dating is definitely about safe sex when you live like who you are in Christ!    

    

Live Free in Christ,    

Live Free In Christ, Mark Maulding, President and Founder www.GraceLifeInternational.com All Content Copyright © 2013 Mark Maulding

Passionate Dating: Non-negotiables

   My wife and I have four children in their early 20's who are not yet married. I am writing to you what we have shared with them through the years about dating from a grace perspective in hopes that it will help you or someone you know.

   The reality is that most people are not taught what God thinks about dating and how to be successful at it. Most acquire their dating advice from friends or the media but we can learn plenty from God and His Word.

   When our kids were getting close to dating age, here are some of the most important things Ellen and I shared with them. I encouraged them not to date at all until they got in college or beyond. I told them it was primarily because I did not want them to experience broken hearts before they entered into marriage one day. My encouragement was for them to focus on their getting an education. However, I did give them grace by saying that if they dated, Ellen and I would support them and walk with them.

   Two of our boys did decide to date some. We did walk with them during those times. Each had one relationship that brought pain but I did not say, "I told you so". We loved them where they were just like God does with us. One of our boys did not date anyone seriously because of school work. At this time, all three have put dating aside until they graduate from college. Our daughter with Downs wants a boyfriend and we keep telling her to ask Jesus for one.

   The main non-negotiable we have continued to strongly encourage our kids to decide is to only date and marry someone who loves Jesus as much as they do. Notice that we did not say someone who is a Christian or church goer. There are people who claim to be Christians and go to church but do not have a genuine relationship with Jesus. 2 Corinthians 6:14 says, "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?" Though the context of that verse is about business, it certainly applies to dating and marriage.

   As one who has Christ in you, you need to only date and marry someone who also has Christ in them but more than that, has a vibrant relationship with Him. How do you know if they do? If they don't talk about their relationship with Jesus during the first one or two dates, you can be sure they don't have that relationship. You can always ask them what kind of faith in God they have. Their answer will be very tell-tale, also.

   I have counseled many Christ followers through the years, who are miserable because they married an unbeliever or a believer whose relationship with God was a "private matter". They allowed themselves to fall in love with that person believing that it wasn't a big deal or that the person would one day come to Christ. In most cases, that doesn't happen.

   You tend to marry people you date! So if you are currently dating or are of dating age, you need to make a decision NOW that you will only date and marry someone who loves Jesus as much as you do. If you are currently dating someone who does not, I urge you to break off that relationship. Though it may be painful now, you will save yourself from a lifetime of future misery and regret.

Live Free In Christ,


Mark Maulding, President and Founder www.GraceLifeInternational.com All Content Copyright © 2013 Mark Maulding