Passionate Dating: Are You Ready?

   Are you ready to date? Is your teen or single ready to date? Here are some practical thoughts on dating from the perspective of grace for you to consider before you answer.

   Dating is really not discussed in the Bible. It is a modern invention of the western world.   In the time of the Bible, parents chose who you were going to marry. That may sound totally crazy to us today. However, we parents know our kids better than anyone else and have a good idea of the type of person who would be a good fit for them.

   I'm not suggesting that we go back to parents arranging who their kids marry. But I am saying that people who are dating would be very wise to ask their parents what they think about the person they are dating. Most parents are good at discerning the character of a person fairly quickly. Are you willing to do that?

   How is your love relationship with Jesus?   In other words, is your heart already filled with God's personal love for you? If so, you are prepared to date if God leads you to do so. Jesus' love for you will be a deterrent against you trying to suck the life out of the other person to meet your God-given need for love. This can be a major stumbling block in dating and in marriage.

    Depending on Jesus to live his life through you is the only way to mature as a person and a Christian. Nothing can better prepare you for dating than this. Jesus says in John 15:5, "Apart from me you can do nothing" which includes dating.

   Learning that your identity is in Christ is important too. Otherwise you will attempt to derive your identity from the person you are dating. That's one of those things that can sabotage your relationship quicker than playing a game of Call to Duty.

   Have you decided on your non-negotiables in dating? I covered this very extensively in my blog/devotion two weeks ago. I hope you have at least decided that you are only going to date someone who loves Jesus as much as you do.

   When you do decide to get engaged, believing God has brought that special person into your life, do yourself a favor and get some quality Christ-centered counseling. We offer great pre-marital counseling in our office and through Skype but we also know of other ministries around the country who can help as well.

Live Free In Christ, 

Mark Maulding, President and Founder 
www.GraceLifeInternational.com 
All Content Copyright © 2013 Mark Maulding

Passionate Dating: Safe Sex

   When our children were growing up, Ellen and I both believed that it was our responsibility to talk to each one about sex.   Sadly, in today's world, most children are familiar with sex long before they become teens.  They have heard all about it from their friends and many have seen a perversion of it because of internet and TV pornography.

   Let me share an example of what I mean.  I took each of my three sons on a father/son weekend to talk about sex when they were in the 6^th grade - the first year of Middle School. (I also took them in 9^thand 12^th grade.)  Ellen talked to our daughter.

   On one of those 6^th grade trips, my son said, "Dad, I already know all about sex.  You don't need to tell me anything."  My response?  "You probably do but you need to hear my perspective on it and especially God's perspective on it."

   You see, sex was designed by God to be great ... in marriage.  He designed it for procreation and for pleasure.  Sex was God's idea, not the Devil's!  It's not dirty in marriage.  It's a gift from God.

   The statistics are very compelling that parents still have the greatest influence in the decisions that teens and young adults make about sex before marriage.  That is not a guarantee that they will live like who they are in Christ in this area but it is still our God-given responsibility to talk with them and guide them in this area.

   The best thing we can do for our kids in teaching them about sex is to challenge them to make some decisions before they ever start dating.  If not, they will most likely make the wrong decision later when they are on a date.  Here are some of those decisions.

  Safe sex for the Christian is no sex prior to marriage. See 1 Corinthians 7:1-5  Today, you have to be very specific about what you mean by sex.  A decision that will help a single person is to agree that any area of the body below the neck is off limits while dating.  An exception, of course, might be holding hands.  And in reality, most people regardless of their age, cannot sit around and kiss very long without being tempted to do more.  Why?  Because God designed passionate kissing to be one of the first steps towards the beautiful act of sexual intimacy in marriage.  If a single is going to kiss at all while dating , they need to decide how much kissing they are going to involve themselves in.  If you have kids, I encourage you to share this with them whether they are 13 or 30. 

  Don't advertise.  Make sure your girls know that they can dress in style with being immodest. For example, a girl who shows cleavage is advertising.  A girl who wears shorts, skirts or dresses so that her butt cheek is showing or almost showing is advertising.  And some guy will be tempted to take the merchandise.  She needs to save all of that for her husband in private after she is married. 

   Another thing kids need to know is that the Bible tells them to treat the opposite sex as if they were their brother or sister.  Read these words to the single pastor, Timothy in 1 Timothy 5:2. "Reverently honor an older woman as you would your mother, and the younger women as sisters."  That is another great decision for those who are dating to make.  In fact, if they treat the opposite sex as a brother or sister, then a friendship may occur which one day might lead them to the one God has for them to marry.  Passionate Dating is definitely about safe sex when you live like who you are in Christ!    

    

Live Free in Christ,    

Live Free In Christ, Mark Maulding, President and Founder www.GraceLifeInternational.com All Content Copyright © 2013 Mark Maulding