GOD'S GOOD. YOU'RE BAD. TRY HARDER!

A friend told me recently that both of his teenagers rushed in from their youth group meeting and grabbed a bite to eat on the way to their rooms.  As they were passing by, he asked them, "How did youth group go?"  The 16 year old boy said, "Oh you know, Dad.  God's good.  You're bad.  Try Harder."  That's the unfortunate message Christians hear every week.

In my recent introduction at our Pastor's Conference, I shared that I believe there are three distinct types of Christians attending a typical worship service each week. 

Group 1 - The spiritually hungry.  These are the Christians who have a great desire to grow in the Lord.  They are like a dog that is waiting for food by the bowl at meal time who is saying "I'll eat whatever you give me.  Just feed me!" 

Group 2 - The spiritually disillusioned.  These are the Christians who can't figure out why they can't get Christianity to work for them.  They were excited and full of hope in the beginning but now some are disappointed, some are bored and some are ready to give up.  They are like the dog that keeps coming to get food.  Over time, the dog grows tired of the lack of energy and the lack of flavor from what they eat. 

Group 3 - Those in pain emotionally and relationally.  These Christians often carry their secrets and are ashamed to share their struggles.  They are like the dog that goes and lies down in a dark place under a bed and doesn't care if they eat or not.

If you were to ask each of these Christians what the Christian life is all about, they might each answer similar to the 16 year old boy.  God's good.  I'm bad.  Try harder.  This view of the Christian life is not only incorrect, it's unsustainable, and it doesn't help either group to experience genuine growth, fulfillment or healing.

The Gospel of the New Covenant however, can help all three groups.  Jesus said, "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied."  The Gospel tells us that everyone of us who believe has been given that righteousness, so we can stop looking for it.  2 Corinthians 5:21 He made Him who knew no sin to become sin that we might be made the righteousness of God in Him.  (NASB)  Believing that you are as righteous as Jesus is the key to spiritual growth, according to Hebrews 5:13. 

The Gospel tells us that there is hope for those who are disillusioned because they can find that their identity is in their union with God, not in their sins, failures, successes or service to God.  Colossians 2:10 says it this way: So you also are complete through your union with Christ, who is the head over every ruler and authority. (NLT)

And for those in emotional and relational pain, there is hope for you, also.  Jesus promised that He came to bind up the brokenhearted according to Isaiah 61:1.In Isaiah 53:4, we are also encouraged by these words.  Surely He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows.(ESV) 

Religion and relationships will always let us down or even damage us.  The real Jesus in the real Gospel, revealed in the fantabulous New Covenant, will always lift us up and heal us.  The Gospel of the New Covenant is this:  God is good.  You are righteous.  Trust Christ in you to live your life!

Believe it! It's the Gospel.

Live Free In Christ,

Mark Maulding, President and Founder

www.GraceLifeInternational.com All Content Copyright © 2016 Mark Maulding but feel free to pass it on!

God's Cure for a Shame-based Identity

Have you ever heard that little voice in your head saying "There must be something wrong with me."  It usually speaks to us after a mistake, a sin, or a rejection from someone.  It's the lying voice of the enemy of course, but it sounds a whole lot like our own.  John 8:44c says about Satan, Whenever he speaks a lie, he speaks from his own nature, for he is a liar and the father of lies.

That thought, that voice, that accusation is the spirit of shame.  It's not the same as being ashamed of something I did.  This is different because this is about who I am.  This kind of shame is a gnawing feeling, deep down that says "I am defective."

It's very closely related to condemnation. Condemnation whispers to us that because of what we did, we are messed up in the core of who we are.  When we sin, the Holy Spirit points out to us that we didn't live like who we are in Christ.  On the other hand, condemnation is relentless in trying to convince us that our identity is fatally flawed. It leads us away from the truth of our identity in Christ to an identity defined by failure.  If we listen to it long enough, it will eventually tell us that we are probably not a Christian at all!

That is why we all love Romans 8:1: There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.  It's fascinating that this verse follows a chapter in which the Apostle Paul shared with us how much sin defeated him, even though he hated doing it every single time!  Now that's encouraging.

We are not under condemnation because God crucified our shame-based identity in Adam which genuinely was defective and messed up.  Then He buried it in the grave forever with Jesus according to Romans 6:6. Knowing this that our old self was crucified that we should no longer be slaves to sin.  Then He resurrected us as new creations, with a grace-based identity in Christ. God says we are now perfect according to Hebrews 10:14. For by one offering He has perfected for all time those who are sanctified.

No way does this mean we will live sinless lives.  It does mean that our sin, mistakes, upbringing, abuse, or anything else cannot define us.

Do you operate from a shame-based identity because of your past? 

Do you operate from a shame-based identity because of your family? 

Do you operate from a shame-based identity because of that sin you can't stop doing?

Do you operate from a shame-based identity because you are divorced?

Do you operate from a shame-based identity because (you fill in the blank)?

God has crucified your shame-based identity and exchanged it for a grace-based identity in Christ.  Galatians 2:20 speaks to this, I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now life in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.

Why don't you pray right now and tell God that you are choosing to believe that your shame-based identity died on the cross with Jesus and you are now embracing your grace-based identity. Therefore if anyone is in Christ he is a new creation; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.  (2nd Corinthians 5:17)

And as always, we are here to help in person or virtually.  Why don't you at least have a consultation with us?  Life is way too short to live under the oppression of a shame-based identity.

Believe it! It's the Gospel.

Live Free In Christ,

Mark Maulding, President and Founder

www.GraceLifeInternational.com All Content Copyright © 2015 Mark Maulding but feel free to pass it on!

Grace-Onomics: God’s Exchange Rate for Shame

In 2002, staff members, Sandy Witherspoon, Dan Ascher and I traveled 24 hours to get half way around the world to Kyrgyzstan so we could teach the New Covenant message to the staff of a large Christian ministry.  While there, we were all shocked at the monetary exchange rate.  For example, $10 US dollars exchanged for about 600 SOMS which would buy an enormous amount of beautiful Kyrgyz goods.

In our world, there is also an exchange rate for an issue called shame.  Shame in this case is not being ashamed of something you did or some sin you committed or the ones committed against you. This kind of shame is more about an inner sense of being defective.  It is the overwhelming thought, “Something’s wrong with me!”  It’s a cousin of guilt, feeling very similar but not quite the same.

For those outside of Christ, there truly is something wrong with them.  Their core self, called the “old self” according to Romans 6:6 is all wrong.  It is an enemy of God and evil through and through.  We can praise God, though, that once a person is placed into Christ through faith in Him, that old self is crucified with Christ and removed permanently.  Then it is replaced with the “new self”, your New Creation identity.

Yet, if we don’t constantly remind ourselves of our identity in Christ, this world we live in can mold even in us shame based messages.  It often comes from thoughts the Accuser places in our minds or from people who criticize by throwing identity statements at us like:  “You’re stupid.”  “You’re crazy.”  “You can’t do anything right…and more.”

Let’s make this practical.  Do you know the central lie you believe about yourself which your shame based identity is wrapped around?   If not, would you stop and ask the Lord to show it to you right now?  Here are a few I’ve heard through the years.

I’m not a very good Christian.

I’m very inadequate and inferior compared to other people.

I must be the best to be important.

I’m too stupid to get my life together.

Once you know what that central lie is about you, then you can let God’s truth replace it with the genuine reality about who you are.    That is you can be renewed – change how you think – about yourself.  Here are some good examples.

Who Am I? (Taken from our Grace Life Conference) 

Matt. 5:13 I am the salt of the earth.

Matt. 5:14 I am the light of the world.

John 15:1, 5 I am part of the true vine, a channel (branch) of His (Christ’s) life.

John 15:15 I am Christ’s friend.

John 15:16 I am chosen and appointed by Christ to bear His fruit.

Rom. 6:18 I am a slave of righteousness.

Rom. 6:22 I am a slave to God.

I Cor. 3:16; 6:19 I am a temple of God. His Spirit dwells in me.

I Cor. 6:17 I am united to the Lord and am one spirit with Him.

I Cor. 12:27 I am a member of Christ’s body.

II Cor. 5:17 I am a new creation.

II Cor. 5:18.19 I am reconciled to God and am a minister of reconciliation.

II Cor. 5:21 I am the righteousness of God in Christ

Gal. 3:26, 28 I am a son of God and one in Christ

Eph. 1:1 I am a saint. (See I Cor. 1:2; Phil. 1:1, Col. 1:2)

Eph. 1:4 I am holy and blameless.

God has exchanged your shame-based identity for a grace based identity (Gal. 2:20) (Col. 3-1-4) which is dependent on what Jesus has done instead of what you have done!  Are you tired of your attempts to remove your shame through “try harder religion teachings?”   Spend time this week proclaiming the truth of who you are in Christ, and enjoy resting in the exchange of your shame for God’s grace. 

Believe it! It's the Gospel.

Live Free In Christ,

Mark Maulding, President and Founder

www.GraceLifeInternational.com All Content Copyright © 2015 Mark Maulding but feel free to pass it on!

Dealing with Feeling Shame

   Shame is sometimes confused with the feeling of guilt. Guilt is the realization we have done something wrong. Shame is a feeling of deep angst in the recesses of our soul. Because of our mistake, our sin or someone else's sin, we wish we could evaporate away from being so embarrassed. It is fueled by the belief that there must be something really wrong with us to have done something like ________.

   When I was in junior high school, we had a pep rally for the basketball team of which I was a part. I was placed under a blanket with my legs crossed during the entire pep rally until just before the end. At that moment, I was supposed to jump up and throw the blanket off and the crowd in the gym was supposed to go wild. What actually happened was that my crossed legs became numb so that when I jumped up and threw the blanket off, I fell down in front of hundreds of a packed gym and could not stand for about a minute. The place erupted with convulsive laughter. Talk about feeling shame!

   On a more serious note, before I knew Christ as my Life, I had some real bondage to lust and pornography. It was my inner secret that I hated. Being married during this time and being in full-time ministry, I definitely felt devastating shame at times.

   Today, I discovered that even in the midst of writing this, I had a place of shame I was unaware of. I made many mistakes parenting one of our kids, who are now all adults. I reluctantly faced those mistakes and sins a few years ago when Ellen lovingly told me what I was doing. I had asked for her forgiveness and my child's. And God began to change me in this area as Christ lived through me. Yet, there it was today as Ellen and I talked about that child. Shame was lurking in the shadows of my mind having hidden there for years. I had not recognized it until our conversation. Thank you God for your love in revealing this as I was writing this!

   How does God want us to deal with our shame? For me, I immediately remembered that Jesus had already forgiven me for these parental sins and mistakes. Though I told Him a long time ago that I was sorry for these sins, today I said, "Jesus I accept your forgiveness for them". We know that when Jesus died on the cross for us, we were forgiven for every sin - past, present and future. Colossians 2:13, "You were dead because of your sins and because your sinful nature was not yet cut away. Then God made you alive with Christ. He forgave all our sins". NLT Next, I forgave myself by saying, "Mark, I forgive you for the mistakes you made with ______." Why? We are to love our neighbor as we love ourselves. Mark 12:31 Finally, I acknowledged to God by faith that Jesus' death on the cross has already removed my shame. 1 Peter 2:6, "For it is contained in Scripture, "See, I am placing on Mount Zion a Cornerstone, chosen, and held in honor, and he whose faith rests on Him shall never have reason to feel ashamed." WEY

   How about you? Have you let the good news of the Gospel of grace pluck your shame from your soul? If not, how about settling that right now? Don't let shame have a place in you any longer! Jesus has exchanged your shame with His forgiveness and peace. Why don't you pray something similar to what I prayed above? If you can't get through this or feel shame about something someone else has done to you, please contact us so we can walk with you.

Live Free In Christ, 

Mark Maulding, President and Founder 

www.GraceLifeInternational.com 

All Content Copyright © 2013 Mark Maulding