Hundreds of couples have come to us at Grace Life International since our 1995 inception. It usually goes something like this. The wife shares all of the things that her husband has been doing that are hurting her and the marriage. The husband reciprocates and shares about all of his unmet needs and how she is hurting the marriage. In most cases, their marriage is a mess and they are tired of cycling back around to the same old arguments. They often begin to wonder if they love their spouse anymore and some will go so far as to believe that they may have married the wrong person.
When a couple comes to us struggling in their marriage, they have three choices. I call it LEAVE, CLEAVE OR WEAVE.
1. LEAVE - They can leave the marriage. At GLI, we trust God to work through us so this will not happen, but it is still a choice they have.
2. CLEAVE - They can continue doing the same things they have been doing and be miserable. They usually don't like this option very much or they wouldn't have come to us for counseling.
3. WEAVE - They can allow God to do for them what they have been unable to do for themselves, which is to heal their marriage.
For God to heal a marriage, each spouse must be willing for God to reveal why they are miserable. In the beginning, they believe that their spouse is the problem and if he or she would just change, everything would be fine. However, that is not the problem. The true underlying problem is that each person in the marriage is trying to get their spouse to meet the deepest needs of their heart, which they cannot do. He's only a man and she is only a woman. Those needs can only be met through a deep intimacy with God arising from an understanding of the complete Gospel.
This is not to say that the other spouse is not hurting us. They probably are and it needs to be addressed, but that is still not the underlying problem. Attempting to meet our deep heart needs such as love, acceptance, worth and security, our way instead of God's way, is the real issue. God calls this living according to the flesh. Romans 8:6 tells us that "the mind set on the flesh is death". Death includes conflict, frustration and being miserable.
Whether single or married, our understanding of the Gospel should be leading us into an even deeper intimacy with God. Is it? If not, it's possible we need to be that the Gospel if better news than maybe we have understood so far.
BTW, if your marriage is struggling and you want effective Christian counseling that actually helps, please call us at 704-522-9026. We offer local counseling in four locations, intensive 3-5 day counseling for those traveling a long distance and Skype counseling regardless of where you live geographically. There is always hope in Christ!
You are loved! Believe it. Receive it. Live in it,
Mark Maulding, President and Founder
www.GraceLifeInternational.com
All Content Copyright © 2012 Mark Maulding
When a couple comes to us struggling in their marriage, they have three choices. I call it LEAVE, CLEAVE OR WEAVE.
1. LEAVE - They can leave the marriage. At GLI, we trust God to work through us so this will not happen, but it is still a choice they have.
2. CLEAVE - They can continue doing the same things they have been doing and be miserable. They usually don't like this option very much or they wouldn't have come to us for counseling.
3. WEAVE - They can allow God to do for them what they have been unable to do for themselves, which is to heal their marriage.
For God to heal a marriage, each spouse must be willing for God to reveal why they are miserable. In the beginning, they believe that their spouse is the problem and if he or she would just change, everything would be fine. However, that is not the problem. The true underlying problem is that each person in the marriage is trying to get their spouse to meet the deepest needs of their heart, which they cannot do. He's only a man and she is only a woman. Those needs can only be met through a deep intimacy with God arising from an understanding of the complete Gospel.
This is not to say that the other spouse is not hurting us. They probably are and it needs to be addressed, but that is still not the underlying problem. Attempting to meet our deep heart needs such as love, acceptance, worth and security, our way instead of God's way, is the real issue. God calls this living according to the flesh. Romans 8:6 tells us that "the mind set on the flesh is death". Death includes conflict, frustration and being miserable.
Whether single or married, our understanding of the Gospel should be leading us into an even deeper intimacy with God. Is it? If not, it's possible we need to be that the Gospel if better news than maybe we have understood so far.
BTW, if your marriage is struggling and you want effective Christian counseling that actually helps, please call us at 704-522-9026. We offer local counseling in four locations, intensive 3-5 day counseling for those traveling a long distance and Skype counseling regardless of where you live geographically. There is always hope in Christ!
You are loved! Believe it. Receive it. Live in it,
Mark Maulding, President and Founder
www.GraceLifeInternational.com
All Content Copyright © 2012 Mark Maulding
