When my children were much
younger than today, I got so angry that I flung a bowl of popcorn from our
counter all over the floor. They were all stunned and so was I! I had never
done that before. Two of them had been
trading Yugio cards and had stolen a few from their friends. It really got to
me big time! Today we all laugh at it when we remember it.
But anger is no laughing matter. We all get angry. It is a common emotion.
Those who say they don’t ever get angry also have a problem with lying! When we
feel angry and stuff it, we get depressed.
When we explode with anger, everyone around us gets depressed! When we
deny that we are angry, depression eventually tracks us and others down.
Anger
robs us of inner joy and intimacy with others. Other words for anger are
frustration, irritability, bad mood, agitation, rage.
There
are two types of anger. First, there is righteous anger which is appropriate.
We see this with Jesus when he cleansed the temple of the people who were
ripping people off. They were doing so by selling items and animals the Jewish
people bought from them to sacrifice to God. When I read that in Scripture I’m
like “You go Jesus!” We sometimes feel this kind of anger when we see injustice
such as
a person with a disability
being rejected by others.
At
times, we all struggle with sinful anger. Why do we get angry? Here are some of
the reasons. Fear - fear of rejection, fear of losing
our money, fear that someone does not love us. Control - when we feel out of control, we
want to get back in control. When we can’t get back in control of others
or the situation, we may feel angry. Unforgiveness – every one of us gets offended. We
then feel hurt and often angry. Shame – this is when I feel that
“something is wrong with me, I am defective.” Expectation of others – when we place expectations on others
to meet our needs for love, acceptance, worth, etc. and they fail us, we
feel angry.
How do
we deal with anger? First and foremost, we need to take our anger to our
Heavenly Father and ask Him why we are responding in anger instead of the LIFE
of Christ within. Then we need to listen. Once we understand why we are angry,
we need to respond God’s way to the anger. Most often, the very first thing God
wants us to do is sit down in prayer and forgive the person. (Ephesians 4:32)
Other times, we may realize that our anger was not caused by someone else but
by our own doing. At that point, we need to admit to ourselves and to God what
we did. Then we need to confess our sin to God. Being confident that Jesus died
for that sin, we can thank Him or ask Him for our forgiveness. (Colossians
2:13) God may also make clear to us that we need to talk with the person who
offended us and try to work through the situation with them. (Matthew
18:15)Usually, when we have anger towards someone, we find that we are
also resentful. Going to God with our sin of anger is liberating for
us. Mostly, don’t forget to ask your Father about how He wants you to
respond to the reason He showed you that you are angry.
If you
really get stuck, give us a call and let one of our staff walk with you through
your anger. We have all been there so we understand. Keep in mind that we not
only disciple and counsel people in person but through Skype on the internet.
Until next time, remember, He loves us!
Live free in Christ,
Mark Maulding, Founder & President
Grace Life International
Live Free In Christ, Mark Maulding, President and Founder GraceLifeInternational.com All Content Copyright © 2012 Mark Maulding
