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Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Dealing with Feeling Shame

   Shame is sometimes confused with the feeling of guilt. Guilt is the realization we have done something wrong. Shame is a feeling of deep angst in the recesses of our soul. Because of our mistake, our sin or someone else's sin, we wish we could evaporate away from being so embarrassed. It is fueled by the belief that there must be something really wrong with us to have done something like ________.

   When I was in junior high school, we had a pep rally for the basketball team of which I was a part. I was placed under a blanket with my legs crossed during the entire pep rally until just before the end. At that moment, I was supposed to jump up and throw the blanket off and the crowd in the gym was supposed to go wild. What actually happened was that my crossed legs became numb so that when I jumped up and threw the blanket off, I fell down in front of hundreds of a packed gym and could not stand for about a minute. The place erupted with convulsive laughter. Talk about feeling shame!

   On a more serious note, before I knew Christ as my Life, I had some real bondage to lust and pornography. It was my inner secret that I hated. Being married during this time and being in full-time ministry, I definitely felt devastating shame at times.

   Today, I discovered that even in the midst of writing this, I had a place of shame I was unaware of. I made many mistakes parenting one of our kids, who are now all adults. I reluctantly faced those mistakes and sins a few years ago when Ellen lovingly told me what I was doing. I had asked for her forgiveness and my child's. And God began to change me in this area as Christ lived through me. Yet, there it was today as Ellen and I talked about that child. Shame was lurking in the shadows of my mind having hidden there for years. I had not recognized it until our conversation. Thank you God for your love in revealing this as I was writing this!

   How does God want us to deal with our shame? For me, I immediately remembered that Jesus had already forgiven me for these parental sins and mistakes. Though I told Him a long time ago that I was sorry for these sins, today I said, "Jesus I accept your forgiveness for them". We know that when Jesus died on the cross for us, we were forgiven for every sin - past, present and future. Colossians 2:13, "You were dead because of your sins and because your sinful nature was not yet cut away. Then God made you alive with Christ. He forgave all our sins". NLT Next, I forgave myself by saying, "Mark, I forgive you for the mistakes you made with ______." Why? We are to love our neighbor as we love ourselves. Mark 12:31 Finally, I acknowledged to God by faith that Jesus' death on the cross has already removed my shame. 1 Peter 2:6, "For it is contained in Scripture, "See, I am placing on Mount Zion a Cornerstone, chosen, and held in honor, and he whose faith rests on Him shall never have reason to feel ashamed." WEY

   How about you? Have you let the good news of the Gospel of grace pluck your shame from your soul? If not, how about settling that right now? Don't let shame have a place in you any longer! Jesus has exchanged your shame with His forgiveness and peace. Why don't you pray something similar to what I prayed above? If you can't get through this or feel shame about something someone else has done to you, please contact us so we can walk with you.

Live Free In Christ, 



Mark Maulding, President and Founder 

www.GraceLifeInternational.com 
All Content Copyright © 2013 Mark Maulding

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