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Saturday, May 17, 2014

Godly Affirmations:Forgive Yourself

Years ago, a young couple, who were in a lot of trouble, came in for counseling. From a sheer human perspective, it seemed very unlikely that they could hold their marriage together.  She had committed serious adultery producing a chasm of pain between them that neither of them could traverse.  The one glimmer of hope was that their pastor had led her to faith in Christ before he referred them to me and the husband was already a believer. 

After listening to their heartbreaking story, I asked them the questions we often ask couples with marital problems, "Do you want your marriage to work?" and "Are you willing to let God work in your lives to do whatever it takes to heal your marriage?"  They both answered "Yes".

There was much to help them with over the next few months.  One was the need to forgive Biblically based on the Gospel.  We spent a lot of time understanding that the good news of the Gospel meant that Jesus had died for every sin they had committed, including her adultery and his lack of loving leadership.  For example, Colossians 2:13 says, "When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made you alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins."    Please notice that we have been forgiven (past tense) for all of our sins.  The challenge is twofold.  First, do we believe God has forgiven each sin, especially that one we are so ashamed of, such as adultery?  Second, have we forgiven ourselves for that sin?

Some balk at the idea of forgiving ourselves saying it isn't Biblical.  However, loving our neighbor as we love ourselves includes forgiving ourselves just as we would our neighbor.  And more importantly, forgiving ourselves is rooted in God's forgiveness of us.  Since he has forgiven us, we can forgive ourselves.  In fact, it is prideful not to forgive ourselves since God has already forgiven us!  Colossians 2:14 says, He canceled the record that contained the charges against us. He took it and destroyed it by nailing it to Christ's cross.

When I challenged the husband to make a list of everyone and to Biblically forgive, I have to admit that I was surprised to hear from him that the person he struggled to forgive the most was not his wife, but himself.  It took him several weeks before he was ready to forgive himself.  Wow!  But once he did, even his face looked different because the burden of unforgiveness towards himself had lifted.

Why don't you affirm this week that Jesus died for every one of your sins by sitting down with God and forgiving yourself.  Tell God what you have done and how you feel about yourself, then forgive yourself.  You'll be glad you did!

Believe it!  This is the Gospel!                      

Live Free In Christ, 
Mark Maulding, President and Founder 
www.GraceLifeInternational.com All Content Copyright © 2014 Mark Maulding

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