Open Your Two Gifts from God

Do you have any gifts from last Christmas which you never opened? Of course not and neither do I. Most of us have such anticipation of opening our gifts, we struggle to wait until Christmas.

The majority of Christians today have two gifts God gave them the day He saved them that they have never opened. They are the gifts of abundant grace and righteousness. (Romans 5:17 "...much more those who receive the abundance of grace and of the gift of righteousness will reign in life through the One, Jesus Christ.") These two gifts transformed my life and healed my marriage.

You can open these gifts today but only through faith. To open the gift of abundant grace is to depend on Jesus Christ in you to meet your needs for love and acceptance and to live His life through you. To open the gift of righteousness is to believe that your identity in Christ makes you as righteous as Him.

Why don't you open these two gifts right now? Here is a suggested prayer for you to pray today and beyond.

"Jesus, I realize that I have tried many ways to meet my own needs for love and acceptance, but it has not worked. I choose to agree with You believing that You love and accept me today unconditionally. I am also convinced that without You, I can do nothing in any area of my life. I ask You to live Your life through me today in all that I do. Finally, Jesus, I believe when You gave me the gift of Your righteousness, it became my righteousness which is my truest identity. I choose to believe regardless of my behavior, circumstances or feelings. Please remind me often of these two gifts from You. Thank you Jesus. Amen"

Live Free In Christ,

Mark Maulding, President and Founder

www.GraceLifeInternational.com
All Content Copyright © 2013 Mark Maulding

Parenting by Grace - Is Your Identity in Your Kids

   Years ago, all of the families in our church small group decided to meet for lunch at the church building. My two oldest boys were play fighting and I had to get stern with one of them because he hit his brother in the eye with his sock.

  When it came time for us to all leave, he had disappeared. We searched the building but no one could find him. Finally, we all got in our cars hoping he would come out of hiding. In a few minutes, he came sheepishly walking from behind the building. It was a relief and a little embarrassing. I remember saying to Ellen, "I sure am glad we don't get out identity from our kids."

  Our daughter has Down syndrome. She is very loving but has experienced a lot of rejection in school and church because she can't perform like others think she should. An "expert" once proclaimed she would never mature past a 3^rd grade level. She is now a junior in a university program designed for young adults similar to her. It would be very easy to get our identity from her successes or the opinions of others rather than Jesus.

  One time I saw a call from my wife on my mobile phone while teaching a large Grace Life Conference. I couldn't take the call but listened to the voice mail on the way home. One of my sons had been doing doughnuts in a field that night and rolled the car over on its top. The car was totaled and thankfully neither he nor his friend was hurt. The police were called and he was charged with trespassing.   As we later stood in the Sheriff's office, it sure would have been easy to get our identity from our son rather than Jesus.

  My children have made many mistakes. They have also had many successes, making good grades, helping a friend in need, achieving student of the week, earning college scholarships, making the Dean's List, working hard on their jobs, serving God effectively and more.   Ellen and I are proud of them for all of these achievements but we still don't derive our identity from them.

  As a parent, we need to remember that whether our kids succeed, fail, obey us, disobey us, make good decisions, make bad decisions, follow Jesus or reject Jesus, our identity is in Christ. It helps to remind ourselves often that we are forgiven, righteous, accepted, loved children of God independent of our kids. Colossians 2:10 reminds us that we are complete in Christ, not our children.

  Parents, when we do a good job parenting and when we make mistakes, even then our identity is in Christ, not our children. I sense as I am writing this that some parents whose kids are now adults, need to be reminded that your identity is also in Christ and not your adult kids.

Live Free In Christ,

Mark Maulding, President and Founder 

www.GraceLifeInternational.com 
All Content Copyright © 2013 Mark Maulding

Parenting by Grace: Fathers Need Christ in Them

   After 31 years of counseling people, I can tell you that dads have the most influence on their children, for better or for worse. That is not a surprise since the only two verses of Scripture in the New Testament are directed to fathers.

   Here is what they say. "Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." Ephesians 6:4 ESV "Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged." Colossians 3:21 ESV

   Men, we were designed by God to be the loving leaders in our homes. But when Adam sinned, that got turned upside down in us. As a result, all of us tend to struggle after the flesh to lead our families spiritually and to express love to them. The flesh easily defaults to passivity and anger in our homes.

   The good news is that Jesus came to turn things right side up. So when He tells us what to do to lead our families, He is reminding us of who we already are in Christ as fathers. It is also a reminder that we need to depend on Christ in us to lead and love then. I pray almost every day that Jesus will live His life through me to love my wife and my children.

   Don't fall into the former stinking thinking that it's up to your wife to lead your children spiritually, to express love or to discipline them. That is passivity and is from the flesh. But that's not who we are as men whose identity is in Christ. In Christ, we fathers are loving leaders! Our Heavenly Dad is telling us to "put on Christ" or simply, live like who we are.

   To lead primarily means to initiate. It's deciding to initiate to show and tell your kids you love them. It's deciding to initiate by sharing with your kids about your own relationship with God. It's deciding to initiate by asking your kids to forgive you when you blow it. It's deciding to initiate in a relationship with your wife that your kids can emulate. It's choosing to show respect to your wife and to require your kids to do the same.

   Dads, you don't have to do everything perfectly. That is why it's called parenting by grace. I made plenty of mistakes with my four kids. Even today, I believe that God's grace covers every mistake you and I make. Romans 5:20b "But where sin increased, grace increased all the more."

   Dads, the pressure's off. We can choose to depend on Christ to live through us to parent our kids! 

Live Free In Christ,

Mark Maulding, President and Founder


www.GraceLifeInternational.com
All Content Copyright © 2013 Mark Maulding

Parenting by Grace: 3 Stages of Parenting

   One of the things Ellen and I spoke about at times when our kids were growing up was this.  “Let’s enjoy our kids and not be in a hurry for them to grow up or get older.”   In other words, we wanted to soak in and enjoy the moment.  There were great times of joy, exhaustion, and sorrow.  Regardless, we made it our goal to live in the moment and are glad we did.

   I believe this is part of what grace means when we are able to rest in the Lord as Hebrews 4 talks about. 

   It helps to understand what stage of parenting you are experiencing with each of your children.  The stages can be understood simply as Control, Convictions and Counselor.  In every one of these stages, parents need to depend on Christ in them to parent and need to have older grace filled parents who can mentor them.

   Control – When our kids are infants until they are around age 11, parents have to make a lot of their children’s decisions for them.  Our children don’t have the emotional or intellectual ability to do this without us.  Of course, even as they are moving towards age 11, we can be teaching them about making wise, good decisions.  There is also a place for giving them opportunities to do so.

   Conviction – From about age 12 through high school, we are in a time of helping our kids develop convictions about God, themselves and life.  We can’t force any of this on them but we want to be sharing the important things on how real Jesus is to us, dating, working hard, integrity, money and more. 

   This is definitely a time that can be very challenging.  Some teens are very compliant and go through this time with no problems.  Others seem to become an alien from another planet and parents wonder who took over their child’s body!  Our kids may have questions or doubts about their faith but talking it through with them will help.  Just don’t freak out if that happens.

   Counselor – This is when our kids have graduated from high school and are headed towards living on their own whether through a job or at college.  Parents primarily become counselors during this time.  We have to be very careful that we don’t regress to the Control stage during this time.  In fact, some parents sadly keep trying to be in the control stage even after their adult child is married.

   This is a time when we are continuing to guide our children into making more and more of their own decisions.  We have input of course, especially if they want to do something like go to a college that costs more then we or they can afford.  But in general, we want to help them learn more and more how to pray, seek God and make their own decisions.

   Please don’t take these stages and turn them into hard and fast periods. We all need to be led by the Holy Spirit and there will be some crossover in these stages.  Just to remind you, trust Christ in you, to parent through you.  He’s the best parent ever!

 Live Free In Christ, Mark Maulding, President and Founder www.GraceLifeInternational.com All Content Copyright © 2013 Mark Maulding

The Brevity of Life and Preparing Well for the Next One

One ancient writer expressed the brevity of life in this way, “You’re nothing but a wisp of fog, catching a brief bit of sun before disappearing.”  My wife and I are experiencing this on a micro level as it seems our four children became adults all of a sudden though it took 20 – 25 years.

However, the life to come is forever.  It is sobering to realize that there are only two forever options for every living person.  One is to live forever unconditionally loved by God where all suffering, pain, sorrows, sickness and death are no more, and the world is the most beautiful place ever.  The other option is to live forever in a place where there is no love, no relationships, no parties, no light and none of God’s presence.

The question is who goes where and why?

Many people think that good people are the ones who go to a “better place” and bad people go to the alternative.  But how good does a person need to be go to this heavenly place?

Let’s look at a few of the 10 Commandments for just a moment.  One commandment says, “Thou shalt not steal”.  Have you ever stolen anything?  Everyone has even if it is a very small item.  That means you will stand before God one day as a thief and thieves cannot go to heaven.  Another commandment says, “Thou shalt not bear false witness (lie).”  Have you ever lied?  Sure you have, even if it was a little white lie.  All liars will stand before God one day and be judged as one who cannot go to heaven.  Let me give you part of the 10^th Commandment.  “Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife…”  Have ever had a sexually lustful thought towards another person whether on television, the internet, in your neighborhood or anywhere else?  Every person has done that more than once.  As a result, you will stand before God guilty of sexual lust.  Sadly, no one who has done this, even once, will go to heaven.

Hopefully you can see that no one is good enough to go to heaven because we have all broken at least some of the 10 Commandments.

Because God loves you, He wants you to be with Him forever and has provided a way for you to be there.  You see God loves everyone, but he doesn't accept everyone.  He only accepts those who are acceptable.  So how do you become acceptable to God since no one is good enough?

You may or may not be familiar with what Jesus Christ said as recorded in the Bible in John chapter 3 verses 16-17. “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. 17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.”

God loved you personally so much, that He sent His own Son, from heaven to earth, not to condemn you, but to save you from option 2.  The one condition is that you believe in His Son, Jesus Christ.

Believing in Jesus Christ means that you believe He died on the cross to take your judgment for your mistakes and sins.  You also believe He was buried and on the 3^rd day and He rose from the grave because He conquered death for us.  To believe is not just a mental belief.  It is also a giving of yourself to Jesus so you can fulfill the purpose for which you were created.  You were placed on this earth for a specific purpose which may include your present profession.

A relationship with Jesus Christ is not about being religious but is about learning to have a dynamic relationship with Him.  To keep it real, this does not mean your life will be great after you believe.  You will have problems in this life just like I do and everyone else does.  For example, I have a child with Down syndrome and have lost most of my ability to smell.  And because of our problems, we may be tempted to give up on our belief in Jesus.  Don’t do that.  Remember, you are preparing for the next life not just this one.  Keep the faith in Him.

Would you like to place your faith in Jesus Christ right now?  Don’t say, “I’ll do it later.”  This may be your last chance. None of us is assured that we have a tomorrow.  Join me and many others who have already believed.  If you are willing to do this, I have a suggested prayer for you to pray.   

I was encouraging a friend one time to place his faith in Jesus Christ when he said, "But I don't feel anything so I don't think I should".  I explained that you don't have to have a certain "feeling" to place your faith in Christ.  You may or may not “feel” like praying this prayer of belief but feelings are fickle and they come and go.  In other words, go ahead.  Don’t wait until you feel like it. He did and was forever changed.

Here is the suggested prayer.  Just stop for a moment and pray this to God either out loud or silently.

“Dear God, I believe that you love me so much that you sent Jesus Christ to die for my mistakes and sins.  I believe that He was buried and that you also raised him from the dead.”  I not only believe in Him but I surrender my life to you desiring to discover and live your plan for my life.”  Amen.

God encourages you in your prayer above with this Bible verse.  “If you declare with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” This is in Romans chapter 10 verse :9.

If you placed your faith in Jesus Christ just now, please email me at Mark@GraceLifeInternational.com.  You don’t have to.  I am not a pastor.  I just want to know so I can pray for you and send you another email about how to grow in this new relationship.  I will never use your email for any other purpose or ask you for money.  There is so much more to understand about your relationship with Jesus Christ and I want to help you.

God bless you in your new adventure with Him!

Live Free In Christ,
Mark Maulding, President and Founder
www.GraceLifeInternational.com
All Content Copyright © 2013 Mark Maulding

Parenting by Grace: Why Only Two New Testament Scriptures?

    My wife and I have been parenting our four children for 25 years. During that time, we have learned some things that I'd like to share with you. Let me say quickly that if you are hoping to hear from someone who has been a perfect Christian parent, you will be disappointed. We have made our share of mistakes like every Christian parent does.

   There is a phantom Christian parent out there somewhere who does everything perfectly. They lead their children to Christ at an early age, always have them at church, never miss daily devotions with them, never get angry, always have the wisdom needed for every situation, have a great marriage, always pray and read their Bibles, and spend a lot of personal time engaging each child. I call them a phantom because that parent does not exist!

    I often ask people in our Parenting by Grace class how many New Testament verses there are on parenting. If someone had asked you that question, how would you have answered it? I've heard everything from 100 to 10 to none. The answer is that there are only two. They are Ephesians 6:4 and Colossians 3:21 which say almost exactly the same thing.

  Because parenting is such a challenging responsibility, that doesn't seem fair, does it? Its like, "Come on, Lord. Could you give me at least 10 Scriptures about parenting?"

   A long time ago I asked, "Why are there only two?" Then I believe the Holy Spirit gave me the answer. It's because God assumes that we understand the Gospel so well that we know how He parents us. He is our model of how to parent our children. Here are some important truths I believe He wants us to understand about parenting.

  Our Father loves and accepts us unconditionally whether we obey or sin. It's one of the privileges of being one of His children. This does not mean there are no consequences for sinning.   If you rob a bank, you will go to prison and God will love and accept you all the way there!

  Our Daddy does not punish us but disciplines us according to Hebrews 12. To punish us would mean that Jesus' payment for our sins was incomplete therefore we are being made to pay for them. Discipline is different because it is not retribution but guidance. It means that we are off track and our Father is trying to get us back on track.

   When we understand the Gospel, our Daddy assumes that we are going to rely on Christ in us to be a parent through us. When Jesus said in John 15:5, "Without me, you can do nothing", He was including parenting.   A parent must daily declare to Jesus that he or she is utterly dependent on Him to do the parenting through them.

   I remember several occasions that what came out of my mouth in response to one of my children was so wise, I knew it was from Christ in me. To keep it real, I also remember things coming out of my mouth that were from the flesh because I was not relying on Christ in me!

   The greatest parent in the world is God Himself who lives in you! Ask Him to parent your children through you and watch Him work!     

Live Free In Christ,

Mark Maulding, President and Founder

www.GraceLifeInternational.com
All Content Copyright © 2013 Mark Maulding

Grace for the Legalist

    When I was a legalistic Christian, I understood grace to be the power God gave me to obey the 10 Commandments. Rather than grace being relational, it was the power to keep the rules. This stinking thinking meant that the more rules I kept, the more pleasing I would be to God. The more pleasing I was to God, the more I believed He would bless me for my obedient performance.     

  

   I was so much of a legalist, I believed I needed to obey the dietary laws of the Old Testament in order to please God. I recall one time when Ellen and I were first married, we were on vacation at her grandfather's beach house. We went out to eat at the local seafood restaurant only to realize that every item on the menu was forbidden by the Old Testament dietary laws. We left frustrated, angry and hungry!

   When I had a revelation of Christ in me and my identity in Christ according to Galatians 2:20, I experienced incredible healing and freedom. However, I also believed that I now had the power to keep the 10 Commandments and couldn't understand why I kept failing at it. This is the exact same thing  the Apostle Paul wrote about in Romans 7:14-25. Here he shares his own testimony of his habitual faliure to keep the law in his attempts to stop sinning.

   God continued to reveal more of what the entire Gospel really was and I soon began to see in the Scriptures that Christians have zero obligation to keep the 10 Commandments. Not only can it not save a person, it cannot prevent a Christian from sinning, nor can it help them grow spiritually.

   Romans 7:4 says that when Jesus died on the cross, we were united to Him so that we died to the Law with Him. If you die to something, it means that you no longer have any relationship to it. For example, if I died today, I would no longer be obligated to keep the laws of the United States.

   2 Timothy 1:9 says, "Realizing the fact that law is not made for a righteous person." The only righteous people are those in Christ. That means that the 10 Commandments are not made for us. Instead of the Law, we are now under grace.

   As I understood this, my freedom grew. My intimacy with God grew. My love for people grew. My freedom over sin's power grew. And I even lived a life more pleasing to God than when I had lived under the Law. Grace transformed this legalist into a gracist!

   To all the legalists out there, God's love and grace is what you need and really want deep down. You just may not know it yet. Your Father loves you and His grace has placed Christ in you and you in Christ. Let go of legalism and embrace grace. It may feel strange at first but it's the only way to live a victorious Christian life!

Live Free In Christ, Mark Maulding, President and Founder www.GraceLifeInternational.com All Content Copyright © 2013 Mark Maulding